A Divine Scandal (page 2)

I woke up and smiled today.  Well, that's a lie.  Really, I hit the snooze alarm half conscious.  Then when I dragged myself out of bed I had this angsty-little-kid-pouty-mad-face on.  My dreams were not fun.

I fought in them.  I argued without losing the argument, but it had no resolution either.  Instead of falling and falling continuing for miles and for what seems like an eternity in a dream, I just argued the whole time.  What of?  

The story goes, I was a kid again playing baseball. I played somewhere on some island because it was all sunny and perfect and tropical-like.  Then it came, I stole second base in a flash.  Clearly I was safe. No doubt about it.  The throw came house too late. The tag, it didn't matter because I was already brushing myself off and waiting for the game to go on.

The ump called me out.

"What!?!!"  No way.  No possible way.  No.  No.  The anger was in the pit of my stomach.  The shock.  The slow confused "umm..." feeling.  But it was so bad I couldn't even spit out the "what" after that "umm..."

Needless to say, I didn't smile when I woke up.

So I went for a drive.  Took the scenic route to the gym.  Turned the music up and let the windows down. Rolled the hills and spun with the turns.  Jumping from first to fifth as quick as I could.  

The faithfulness I'm acquainted with comes in the simplest of forms for the simplest of times.

I drifted in my thoughts as I drove.  Dodging the AM's horizon.  Wrapping the summer sun and 80 degrees-air around all sensations.  Letting my sights be covered, my fingertip feelings - I got lost in an 8:47 moment.

The faithfulness I know comes minute after minute. Most of the time I'm completely oblivious to its watching over my life.  C'est la vie.

On the offbeat chance that I recognize the Divine's continual involvement in my life, I'm removed from all stress, from all stubborn grumpiness, all maddening emotion and I'm taken to a place lacking negativity.  It's then I'm reminded of God clothing the winged creatures of the sky, to a point where He goes as far as to give them food.  And this is all-together sustaining.  

It's then that I smile.  One hour and forty seven minutes after I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.