A Generalization (page 3)

I am selfish for the Lord, for having His time.

I made a magazine for Sorrel last Christmas.  It took me more than two months to complete.  I would work on it at every free moment.  I brought the pieces to work so when I was on my 10-minute breaks I could write another letter, or touch up another drawing, or another collage, or snap at the end of another poem like I was at a reading.  I carried around pieces everywhere.  Even in church.  I'd write to her in church while I was surrounded by the most peaceful atmosphere I know on this earth.

(Hence, my justification for falling asleep so much in church because it's the best rest I'll ever get.)

The time of night didn't matter.  I'd brew my coffee and work on it till I fell into my bed at 2-in the morning.  I'd wake early to work on the project some more.

Do you get my point here?  I was consumed.

Because I loved her.

Selfless adj. 1 devoted to other's welfare or interests and not one's own; unselfish, altruistic 2 showing or prompted by unselfishness or altruism; self-sacrificing 

Love is both selfish and selfless.

I loved this girl so much that my time was spent on her.  She was 3,000 miles away.  The distance didn't matter.  Only what mattered was the simple smile I'd get on her face when she read the magazine.

I selfishly loved this girl where I was going to do whatever it took to win her over.  And I selflessly gave up those two months for her.  By project's end I had a 100 page magazine, handwritten, with scrap-booked photographs, magazine cut-outs building collages, and over 300 of those white washer ringed notebook re-inforcers that I tediously placed so none of the makeshift binding would fall apart.

She is my beautiful love.

And I would give anything for her.

Side note (below):

"Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the world and gave himself up for her." (Ephesians 5:25)

I have to think this is how God acts toward us.  It's a must in my thought-process: God loves me like I love Sorrel.  And I'd be doing His All-Eclipsing Love no justice if I didn't clarify this comparison by saying His love for humanity trumps any and all human love toward another.

Yahtzee.