Maybe you're the type who wakes up in the morning and is completely thankful to be alive. The type who found God and has a crystal clear memory of the moment you found Him, gave everything over to Him, and all that jazz.
(Story time)
Two years ago I left England with a kiss on my lips and a confused waving "Good bye" to Sorrel and Daniel. Don't worry, my little gay Irish friend didn't kiss me; the extremely cute British dancer with wonderful - and this may be getting me in trouble once she reads it - lip service left me touching my own lips as the train pulled away from Oakwood Station.
"What!?!?!!"
This British chic who I met because a girl I went to church with roomed with her. The great part to our encountering each other so frequently came when some of the guys figured out they could sneak into Flat 50 via person's hand slipped through the letterbox now able to reach the handle and let anyone in. Criminal? I think not. Two very good looking girls lived there along with the best little Irishman you'll ever meet. Plus, we were all friends so our breaking and entering was done in no creep-out way.
I still couldn't believe she kissed me. Here's the girl I even admitted to not minding being stuck on a desert island with us being the only humans left on earth so we'd have to not only put up with each other, but also repopulate the world. Got to love quirky Truth or Dare games and Would You Rathers with friends and alcohol.
Two months after our perplexing good bye, I met up with Sorrel in Seattle where she was enrolled in a dance course. We flew down to California to meet up with Nikki, Maureen, and the coolest little Irishman ever. But then, our two week summer fling came to an end all too quickly. We went for a late night walk the morning before we would get on planes and go our separate ways. If this were a movie then I'd be proclaiming my love for Sorrel somewhere along this walk; it would have started to rain that nice misty rain; we would have had an overly exaggerated yet tasteful kiss on the big screen; and life would have been peachy as I changed my flight plans, traveled to an already IKEA furnished flat where we got married in a hurried yet very beautiful small wedding with friends and family in attendance; and then life would go on like "You and I" singing, "Well don't you worry there my honey, we might not have any money, but we've got our love to pay the bills" (Ingrid Michaelson).
Now, you can't complain about Southern Cal weather, especially when you're taking a walk with a beautiful young foreign girl somewhere around two in the morning. The air is a dry cool unless you have to flee a golf course you snuck onto so you don't get soaked by the sprinklers. Seriously, who waters a field of professionally trimmed grass when the stars are out and the majority of the West Coast population is fast asleep? That's beyond me.
As we walked back to the dorm room couches we were sleeping on Sorrel said something very striking to me. We were talking about God...
"I see god in the trees around me. I feel god when I take a breath. God in the stars. In the flowers. I see god all around me, but I don't know who this god is."
She had no name attached to God, to Christ, to our Divine Intimate. But she had experience.
She didn't know this God of the Universe in Biblical terms. But she had this divine understanding of His features, of His workmanship, and His creativity.
She had no clue about the Almighty, say, as a churched person would have, but what she had was worth more than my churchly upbringing. She had a freedom about her. I say that word freedom with much caution because it's turned into one of those typical Christian words that makes you want to be sick in your mouth. You know what I'm talking about with the whole being sick in your mouth. That horribly embarrassing semi-silent-because-you've-got-to-hold-it-in-since-you're-in-the-company-of-unfamiliar-people burp that brings up stomach acids and all the wonderfully pureed dinner you just devoured. That kind of sick can be attached to the overuse of words like:
1. "Saved": What does that even mean? To be saved? Like making it our goal on mission trips or community outreaches to get people to say "The Prayer" as if there is a magical string of pious words, which will open wide Peter's pearly white gates for anyone who gets accosted by a Christian, says "The Prayer," and walks on with life like nothing just happened. Right. If that's the case then I will keep track of the numbers for my own ego. "The Prayer" for me is daily and its words are always changing based on my emotions, the realization of my newly-created sin or my lack of keeping Christ, my Lord and Savior, as the center of my life.
2. "Inviting Christ into my heart" as if the Messiah is the world's smallest midget or smallest little person to be PC. Huh? I'd like to see that trick.
3. "What Would Jesus Do?" That was more of a quirky Christian fashion statement in the 90s. No more needs to be said. I may be bashing it, but I rocked the WWJD? bracelet, shirt and necklace. Yeah I did.
Sorrel had this complete lack for any Church culture, Church regulations, Church traditions and Church dogma. This definitely played to her advantage because she experienced God in a way I'd think of Adam and Eve connecting with Him. A way with no barriers. No jaded perspectives of who God is. She might have only been missing who He was, but that's an easy fix for someone wanting to discover His past: the Bible. And she might have been missing who God will forever be. Once you've gone 70 years and seen sunset after sunrise, lived life to the full and experienced everything under the sun, it's pretty much a guarantee that the world will spin similarly as in your lifetime for generations to come. The God of eternity will continue on whether you know Him intimately or not.
She had a natural view of God without knowing Him to be the Only One I was talking about.
And the way she described this unnamed-God-to-her was a description unlike anyone else had given to me. And in that moment I adopted a way of viewing our Creator: "In the beginning God created" (Genesis 1:1).
That's how I saw Him: "God created." He's the One who creates. The One in the trees we passed along our walk. The One in the wind calmly letting those trees know of its presence. The One in all those sunsets, sunrises, low tides and waves wiping you out. 22 years of going to church and doing the Christian thing and Christ's grace surrounding me was, for the very first time, apparent.
Now, I don't know the ins and outs of Sorrel's finally giving into her passion for a beautiful God. I bet she could fill me in with a crystal clear memory. And I would smile at the story while I listened to my, now, beautiful wife-to-be.
But I'm one who considers myself as not having that memory. I can't tell you a date, a time, or a place where it happened. What I can tell you are instances like this life-changing walk with the girl of my dreams (I didn't know that at the time) that play into my story. Because, for me, salvation is a daily occurrence. To say, "I'm saved. I've come to the Lord. I've rocked the WWJD? question both on my wrist and in self-reflection." Then to go on just like the sun never fell out of orbit or discovering no more OREOs are in the house because I ate them all last night, would be foolish. Those are two huge occurrences in life that would change me. The latter being a recurring nightmare. But, seriously, if salvation were not a daily striving toward the Lord of Life then I would not be human fumbling through the simplest chores, tripping on the sidewalk, allowing drinks to claim my judgement, my cell phone calls to friends who could care less about hearing my slurred words, and claim my coordination. I would be perfect and not need this daily renewal.
Without salvation as a part of my daily cross-bearing striving with Christ, I would not be able to claim Christ as having pardoned my sins or given me the ability to forgive those who have sinned against me. In effect, I would not know love or how to love.
The first two verses of 2 Corinthians 6 discuss the ever familia "Now is the day of Salvation..." (that was paraphrased, so read the verses). It is so often used for unbelievers, when in context it is not to the unbeliever at all; the context sets the command up for Christians. And what you discussed is exactly what it means. The salvation mentioned means that now--here and now--one must be acting in the way of salvation, and that is that daily cross bearing. So, profound thoughts and terms, and remember, now is the time of salvation.
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