What Hail's Got (page 14)

I say it like I'm putting God on a leash.  Like He's Lassie saving me whenever I'm in trouble.  And rather than me being a 50s Pleasantville picturesque dog owner, I kennel God for six days out of the week. And come Sunday, I let Him out like it's a treat.

"For one day," I say to God.  

"For one day a week You can be my God.  Oh, don't worry there Lassie-God" - God embodied coolest dog ever besides maybe Lucky from 101 Dalmatians.  

"Don't worry.  I will declare that you are my God every day.  And people," I say scheming like I'm about to take over the world, "People will believe that I'm a Christian, a Christ follower, a Church-goer, one of them Bible believing persons.  They will.  Don't worry.  They see me holding my tongue in the name of Christ.  They see me not drinking, for Jesus.  They see me being chaste until my wedding day.  They see my Republican vote. My throwing a dollar to the poor and hiding that the other bill in my wallet is a twenty, but that is a justified move because I don't know if this bum is a crack head or an alcoholic.  At least I'm not enabling his lusts. Oh, and Lassie-God, they see me turn red at the mention of genitalia or me turn away at the site of pornographic images even to the extent of shunning a girl who doesn't cover up her naval, knees, shoulders, or ankles." (Since those body parts would of course turn me on; Oh Quasimodo!) 

I go on preaching to Lassie-God like He isn't the God of the Universe since I am so much more pious than Him who created me.  "So Lassie-God, remember: we're cool now.  We have an understanding.  You can be my Savior for one day a week or whenever, say, I go onto those untouchable websites.  Or say, when I drink too much.  Or say, when I let my tongue go and all types of insensitivities fly out like any American service person robotically asking, 'How are you today?' when they really don't care for your well-being.  Those are the times you can be my Savior."

"Wait.  Scratch that.  Remember those Sunday mornings?  Yeah, you can be my redeeming grace from 10 in the morning till noon.  Only!  Not the entire day."  I had to clarify it for Lassie-God because I didn't want Him to get in the way of my other plans.

And I schedule my God like He is an event I attend once a week.

No.  That's not what's meant to happen.  And that's not what happened during those three Sunday services. But those Sundays are only three out of the near 1,200 I've lived through.  I'm not a number cruncher and you don't have to be either to notice that's not even 1%.  Not one single percent.

I'm telling you, Hail's got it.  She didn't let herself be content with that 1%.  And that I am jealous of.  Know what makes me even more jealous? She did something about her discontent.

Stunning.

Truly ravishing.